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Ceremonies & Traditions Part 4

Protestant Wedding Ceremony

While most Protestant churches have similar ceremonies, some details vary, so be sure to talk to your minister or pastor before you start planning. In any case, here's a description of the ceremony to give you a general idea.
The processional: Traditionally, the groom and best man stand at the front of the church with the clergy, and the wedding party enters in the following order:
GroomsmenBridesmaidsMaid of HonorFlower GirlRing Bearerand last, but certainly not least, the Bride and her father.
The introduction: The officiant begins the ceremony by greeting the congregation.
The readings: In most ceremonies, a friend or family member of the couple reads a passage from the Old and New Testament.
The vows and ring exchange: Most Protestant churches allow personalized vows and adaptations as long as they don't contradict Christian principles.
The final blessing and recessional: After the pastor gives a final blessing, the wedding party exits the church in the following order: bride and groom, flower girl and ring bearer, groomsmen and bridesmaids, parents of the bride, and finally the parents of the groom.Remember, this is merely a general outline. There are various denominations of the Protestant faith, including Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian and many more. Some churches offer Holy Communion, others don't, some are happy to perform weddings outside of the church, some aren't. So before you book that amphitheater, check with your clergy

Ceremonies & Traditions Part 3

Modern Jewish Ceremony

Thinking about having a Jewish wedding ceremony? Here are the most common customs, along with up-to-date alternatives you can easily incorporate into your own contemporary celebration.
The Ketubah
Traditionally, the Ketubah was an Aramaic document that not only avowed the bride's acceptance of the groom's proposal, but also declared that the groom had acquired the bride and agreed to support her—eek! Obviously, the original contract doesn't work for the modern American couple.
Recently, however, couples are re-embracing the Ketubah as an important part of their marriage plans. Only now, the document includes a vow of commitment from both the bride and the groom, plus a declaration of the couple's dedication to God and the Jewish people. Signed by the bride and groom, their rabbi, and two witnesses, today's Ketubah is a statement of the couple's loyalty not only to each other, but also to their faith.
In addition to changing the wording, many couples hire professional calligraphers to write their Ketubah. And artists decorate the document with symbols of love and family for the bride and groom to display in their new home.
The Walk to the Chuppah
The chuppah is a canopy, sometimes lavishly adorned with flowers, that symbolizes the home. In the Jewish tradition, both of the groom's parents walk him down the aisle to the chuppah. Then the bride and her parents follow.
Circling
Under the chuppah, the bride traditionally circles around her groom either three or seven times, some say to create a magical wall of protection from evil spirits, temptation, and the glances of other women. Others believe the bride is symbolically creating a new family circle.
Today, the bride and the groom can circle together or around each other, demonstrating independent and complementary orbits.
Breaking the Glass
After the ceremony and before leaving the chuppah, the groom steps on a glass wrapped in cloth. This act has many interpretations, both religious and nonreligious. The shattering of the glass can be considered symbolic of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem or of the horrors the Jewish people have suffered through the ages.
To some, however, the breaking of the glass is a reminder of the fragility of life and an affirmation that in times of happiness there should be a touch of seriousness. It also serves as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage—a broken glass cannot be mended.
Yichud or Seclusion
Following the ceremony, tradition dictates that couples spend approximately 18 minutes in yichud (or seclusion). This wedding custom allows the newly married couple to reflect privately on their new relationship and allows them precious time alone to bond and rejoice.
It's also customary for the bride and groom to share their first meal together as husband and wife during the yichud. Customary meals differ from community to community and can range from the "golden soup" of the Ashkenazim (said to indicate prosperity and build strength) to chocolate-chip cookies from Grandma.
Jewish or not, it's a great idea for any couple to enjoy their first few moments as husband and wife alone together—what a romantic way to wind down before the festivities!

Ceremonies & Traditions Part 2

The Hindu wedding

The Vedic ceremony, named after the Vedas, or ancient Hindu scriptures, is the typical ceremony performed in the U.S. It includes a general sequence of rites and rituals:
Ganesh Puja:
The ceremony begins with a prayer to Lord Ganesha. Salutations are offered so that Ganesha may remove all obstacles during the couple's married life.
Raksha Bandhan:
Cords are tied to the wrists of both the bride and the groom. Marriage is considered to be an arduous stage in life, and the cords are meant as protection.
Kanya Daan:
The offering of the bride is the purest form of marriage. During the ceremony, the father of the bride places his daughter's hands into the groom's hands as a gesture of giving her away. In the Hindu tradition, no man can claim a woman until she is offered.
Mahurat:
Before the wedding, an auspicious time is fixed for the event. Using the bride and groom's dates of birth, astrologists calculate the position of planets and stars to reflect the celestial union of the couple. During the ceremony, the gautra of both bride and groom (going back at least three generations) are announced. A gautra is the ancestral lineage or the ancestor's original clan (this is not related to caste or religion). In Hindu law, marriages should not take place within the same clan.
Garlanding:
The bride and groom exchange garlands. This expresses the desire of the couple to marry each other. In the U.S., the ring ceremony usually follows.
Mangal Sutra:
The groom places a necklace of black and gold beads on the bride, a custom that came about relatively recently. Traditionally, the goddess Laxmi is invoked in the mangal sutra and the bride is said to receive blessings throughout her marriage.
Homam:
In the center of the mandap, or wedding altar, a fire is kindled. A Hindu marriage is a sacrament, not a contract. To signify the viability of the ceremony, fire is kept as a witness and offerings are made. The bride's brother gives three fistfuls of puffed rice to the bride as a wish for his sister's happy marriage. Each time, the bride offers the rice to the fire.
Sapta Padi:
In South India, the couple walks seven steps together to signify their friendship. In the North, each round is a specific blessing they request of the gods. The main significance is establishing friendship since friendship is the basis of a Hindu marriage.
Sindhoor Daan:
Sindhoor is a red powder, which is placed in the parting of the bride's hair. It is outward evidence of her married status.
A priest's blessings conclude the ceremony.
Although those not familiar with Hindu weddings might find all this overwhelming, Dr. Mohan emphasizes that the focus is firmly on fun: "There's a lot of frolicking, horsing around, and games." The traditions of particular Indian regions contribute to the lighthearted feel. "In the North, there's the mehendi [henna body painting] ceremony at the bride's house before the wedding. Also in the North, the groom's shoes are kept hidden until the bridesmaids are paid the amount of money they want in exchange for the shoes. In the other parts of India, a ring is dropped into a pail of water and the bride and groom try to find it. It's said that whoever finds it first will dominate the household."
Color and Kin
The vibrant tones of most Hindu weddings are one of the first things Westerners notice, says Meenal Pandya, author of Vivah: Design a Perfect Hindu Wedding (Meera, 2000). "Red is an auspicious color all over India," she points out. "In Gujrat, the bride wears white symbolizing virginity and red symbolizing auspiciousness." New York photographer Karen Hill remembers the "beautiful deep reds and specks of gold of the traditional Indian wedding dress. During the wedding ceremony, the parents tossed colorful flowers on the bride and groom and the couple walked in a circle while holding a bright yellow cloth between them."
And no Hindu wedding would be complete without the couple's relatives taking a central role. "Hindus believe that family should be together during auspicious occasions," Pandya says. "These traditions are like the glue that holds families together."
A Blend of Traditions
For American Hindus, the wedding can be a time to honor both their Indian and U.S. roots. Raj Dutt, 25, and Mona Mukherjee, 28, are blending traditions in their Los Angeles nuptials. "The first day, we'll have a civil ceremony in which we're planning to exchange vows and notarize the marriage license," Mona explains. "The following day is a very traditional Hindu ceremony with the fire and seven steps, complete with Raj arriving on a white horse with a dholak [drum] in the background. The day after that will be the reception, which will be very similar to an American reception with dinner, dancing, and cake cutting."
As Mona concludes, "Our objective is to maintain our Indian culture while recognizing the fact that we have grown up in America."

Ceremonies & Traditions Part 1

Catholic Wedding Ceremony

If you're planning a Catholic ceremony, you have quite a few decisions to make. In addition to processional and recessional music, you'll need to choose hymns, Psalms, readings, and blessing. A little confused? Here's a step-by-step guide through the traditional Catholic ceremony to help you plan.
The Processional
First the groom and the best man enter from the side of the church. Then the bridesmaids and groomsmen escort one another up the aisle, followed by the maid of honor, who enters alone. And last but certainly not least, the bride and her father (or another male family member) make their grand entrance.
Hymn
The priest invites the wedding guests to join in an opening hymn (or song).
Greeting or Opening Prayer
After the hymn, the priest begins the mass with a greeting to the guests or an opening prayer.
Old Testament Reading
Here's your opportunity to include those people you couldn't squeeze into your bridal party—ask a friend or family member to read a passage from the Old Testament. Often, couples choose a reading from the book of Genesis, which contains the story of the creation of Adam and Eve.
Psalm
You can either have the church soloist or the entire congregation sings the Psalm. Some choices include "Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord," "Sing a New Song," and "On Eagle's Wings."
New Testament Reading
Here's another chance to include a loved one. Choose a friend or family member to read a passage of your choosing from the New Testament.
Gospel
The priest will read a passage from one of the first four books of the New Testament, written by the apostles Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Homil
After the Gospel, the priest will expound or reflect upon what he has just read.
Vows and Ring Ceremony
You have at least three choices. You can memorize and recite the vows to one another, read the vows from the book, or have the priest read them and respond with "I do." Some priests might allow you to write your own vows or add a couple lines to the traditional ones. After you exchange vows, you'll exchange rings and the priest will bless them as symbols of your love and fidelity.
The Kiss
You can probably figure this one out on your own. Instead of "You may now kiss the bride," you might ask the priest to say, "You may now exchange a kiss."
Nuptial Blessing
The priest blesses your new union with a prayer.
Sign of Peace
The guests and wedding party exchange a sign of peace, by shaking hands and saying, "Peace be with you."
Communion
The priest offers communion to the members of the church. Generally, at the rehearsal he'll ask which members of the wedding party plan to take communion. Then at the ceremony, your non-Catholic attendants can walk through the line and give him an inconspicuous nod.
Lord's Prayer
The entire congregation says the Lord's Prayer in unison.
Blessing and Dismissal of Congregation
One more blessing, and then the priest will dismiss the congregation by saying, "This mass has ended.
You may now go in peace."
Recessional
Make your recession in the reverse order of the processional